Blunt

Hey everyone who still reads xanga entries. Today was an odd day. I didn't expect today to be of much importance. I didn't expect today to be anything more than boring, in a sense it was, but for the most part it was relaxing and inspiring. The beginning started late into the night: in fact just two hours ago. I was working in the woodshop trying to complete as much of my marionette project as possible. Even though I could've gotten more done than I wanted, I got enough done to call it a night. But this is nothing really important. After leaving the woodshop, I had an urge for some food, so I made a stop at Shafer, the dining court at VCU. Upon arrival Gary called out my name. I didn't see him at first because I wasn't wearing my glasses; I rarely do. Anyways, he was just randomly sitting down on a bench watching people pass by. I'll tell you right now; this guy is everywhere and knows everyone. It's amazing how strong his connections are and it's more surprising how he can balance out his social/party life with his school work. As for me, I can only focus on one at a time. If I try to balance out the two, my grades drop, sometimes to a point where it's tough to catch up. But back to the story; so we chilled in front of Shafer for awhile saying hello to other friends passing by. After all, it was a nice, cool, Tuesday night to be outside. Once that was over, we both went inside Shafer to eat before it closed at midnight. That's when we talked. We talked about anything and everything, but then we got to chat about F.A.C.T. It stands for Filipino Americans Coming Together. The ironic part is that he mentioned a lot of problems that were making things come not so much together. He told me of the internal problems that he saw and how members were doing nothing to fix them. For example, everyone knows that actions speak louder than words. Well, that was a main issue as many board members said they were going to do something, but end up either not doing so or procrastinate, resulting in dilemmas and delays. He then told me how much he does for the organization and how people do not give him the credit he deserves. I knew what he was talking about as I have noticed how some poeple acknowledged Gary's presence during practices, but not the work he did that many people did not see or realized he has done to make things possible. I'm sure many of you have felt this way during some point in your life or at least know a friend who felt this way. I have about working at Starbucks. Partners at my job respect me as a worker, yet the manager has not given me the promotion I deserve, even during times where we were in desperate need of a new shift supervisor. But anyways, he then describes to me the job of a leader. In his words:

A leader motivates people and points out areas that need improvement. Sometimes you have to be blunt about it, but the main thing is that a leader is supposed to make an impact, and I want to make an impact.           

 Once he said those words, it was forever scorched in my mind. That's the motivation I lost over the years. Before, during middle school, I was blunt, I wasn't afraid to speak my mind, while helping others to do better. I remember the days where I was a tutor and would tell students exactly what they needed to work on. I was a leader, but not anymore. Somewhere along the road I lost all of that. Grades didn't seem important to me, not like they still do, but I am making them a priority now with an emphasis on a self reward instead of an external reward, if that makes any sense. The thing is I got lazy and became a procrastination whore. I became one of those people Gary despises, for only at the time being I hope, where my actions would not comply with my words. His work ethics motivated me to become better or at least start off where I left off many years ago. I've always pondered about my young self and how I matured from then, but I realized that in some ways I have matured, but I could still learn from my past. To better myself, I must understand all of my selves. I’m aiming to become one that others could trust, admire, support and love. I’m aiming to become a leader. Thank you Gary for motivating me and I’m positive that everyone will see you as a leader, if not now, then soon.

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

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I'm surprised that i didn't update for the month of feb. I'll tell ya, a lot has happened that I'm not in the mood to write about. I just popped in to see the updated xanga. It's not easier, but that's because I loved the old way. The old way actually forced me to learn html. My time is limited, so I promise to write something more meaningful later.

The Winter Cool Down

The one week break from school is finally over. It's been a good week; all responsibilities on hold, many engagements with family and friends new and old, and loads of smiles. I don't want to spend today writting about every jolly event because my dull stories would just bore you all and i'm already tired of thinking of new ways to write something that sounds remotely exciting. In supplant, I'll tell you all a short story.

Monday, New Year's Eve, I finally got my lazy ass out of bed to do something positive. That positive thing would be to go to the museum and get my museum visit for art class out of the way. At the National Gallery of Art, the J.M.W. Turner Exhibit, I was not particularly in the artistic mood, but I made the best of the visit. It was there when I was glancing at one of Turner's paintings that a little boy and his father approached. The father was explaining the painting to his son. It was a battle scene. The first thought in my mind was, "That's nice, the kid is experiencing art at a young age. That's good." And it was, I really ment it. But then I heard the father say something about fireworks in the painting. "Hmmmmm, too bad the father doesn't know what he's talking about," and that stayed with me for a long time. Maybe I was too judgemental, maybe fireworks is a good description for war. Anyways, that got me thinking of other people. So, I took a seat on the coach in the center of the small room and just observed people. Old people, young people, couples, singles, men, women, all just appreciating a small bit of Turner's vision, of beauty, of life. But there were a couple of people there that pointed to the paintings like they knew the back of their hands. They even took the time to explain the pieces to meandering admirers. I could not forget what I thought at that very second, I even wrote it down," My God, look at these people glancing at the painting like they knew what the hell the guy was thinking when he painted it." Then I thought of myself and the kid with his father. Art is just an opinion, because an opinion can't be judged wrong or right, this way or that way, it's just an opinion. So yeah, you see, there are the fireworks in the sky, covered in smoke, and down here are the people raising their hands in glory of the site.

"...I Have A House..."

It's about 2:20 in the morning, thanksgiving day, the day when family bonds are strong and people breath in holiday spirits filled with tradition and love. Normally my mom and Lloyd would be prepping the food and cleaning the house. But not this year. I've even noticed that we haven't shopped as much as we used to. I mean, the fridge isn't stuffed and the table full of soda is missing this time around. Heck, I haven't seen a big, round turkey in days. The tradition just seems lost. Actually, I saw it slowly slipping away each year. But I see this as an opportunity  for change. I wouldn't mind to go to another relative's house for once, you know, try some new food. I for once would like to travel somewhere as most people do. I just wanted to experience a new tradition.

Anyway, back to the story. I then enter the kitchen and not to shortly after, my mom enters too. I was just wonder about everything I mentioned earlier and ask, "Mom, where are we having thanksgiving?" She gives me a strange look that indicates the expression "Are you seriously asking that question?!?" I then rehash how unprepared we were this year and propose that the best thing to do this year is to just go have thanksgiving somewhere else. That's when I got the biggest surprise. She responds, "Why should we go there? I have a house!" I really thought that my mom was not selfish, but I guess I didn't know her as well as I thought I did. That response just took me back and made me really think about tradition. I thought it was always tradition to have thanksgiving at my house, not just use this as an opportunity to show off. This is my cousin's first thanksgiving in their very own house. I wasn't positive if they were going to have thanksgiving there, but it would make sense that they would host their first thanksgiving. Even if they didn't, I never would suspect my mom to say such things. This really shot down my vision of what tradition is and now it's just killing my holiday spirit.  I got to sleep this off. I want to forget everything I wrote, but I won't let that happen. I want to evolve from this realization. That's why I'm writing this.